Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Who I Am

So I guess I should explain myself a little bit...I am a 24 year old high school teacher who has now been happily married for 5 1/2 years to my high school sweetheart, Kevin. About two months after we married, Kevin was deployed with the United States Marine Corps to Iraq. He entered Iraq on the day the war started and returned home on July 3rd, 2003. It may seem that the last few sentences are all about my husband but it isn't really. Kevin's time in the Marines and the time he was in Iraq changed us significantly in many ways. Nothing will make you grow up more quickly than experiencing a time of great stress. I am an overachiever in every meaning of the word. I was Valedictorian of my Senior class and graduated from college Magna Cum Laude in 3 1/2 years. It is always all or nothing when it comes to me. I will worry/study myself into the ground if I am trying to achieve some kind of goal I set for myself. Nothing else matters at that time besides my goal. Usually it is a goal that I believe others want me to achieve. I'm morbidly obese and have started having some health issues related to my weight. I'm starting this blog to see if talking about the trials I face on a day to day basis will help. I'm struggling to become a healthier person physically, emotionally, and in my daily walk with God. I was saved when I was in the 6th grade. I had a steadfast and unshakable faith (faith of a child they say) until my Sophomore year in high school. My Gran-Gran (Dad's Mom) and Grandma (Mom's Mom) both passed away unexpectedly within 2 weeks of each other during the Fall of 1999. I was angry at them for leaving me and angry at God for doing something like that to me. I've become more and more lax in my efforts to follow God's will as time has gone on. The same with my weight. A struggle that you will hear me talk about from time to time is my need to control my surroundings. I never have "Let go and let God" have his will in my life. This struggle, like my weight struggles, are problems that I am very aware of but have failed miserably to deal with time after time after time. I am making some changes in my life that I will post about next time. Until then please pray for peace, understanding, and faith so that I may let God lead me on the path he wishes me to go.

Monday, May 26, 2008

My Best Friend's Wedding!!!

Well I started this blog almost two weeks ago but never finished it. Now that I am making time...here goes nothing!

Today is a wonderful day!!! My best friend Lacy is now engaged to a wonderful man named Dusty! I'm soooooo excited and couldn't be happier for them! They are talking about having the wedding in September so we will have to plan quickly. She has decided to have a wedding in Bronte instead of on a cruise ship. I think she will be really happy she did since more people will be able to attend. She also wants us accompany them on a cruise this fall but I probably won't be able to take off of work.

Lacy's wedding is actually one of the main things that helped me jump start my healthier lifestyle. I refuse to ruin her wedding by looking the way I do now. I wish I would have started sooner so that I could be lighter by the time her wedding hits but I guess I will just do as much as I can until then. Kevin and I joined Weight Watchers and Gold's gym where Lacy is a member. My mother joined Weight Watchers with us. I have to keep myself motivated because Kevin loses so quickly even though we eat the same things. I'm lucky to have family that will join with me and support me like that. We have been working out and I'm really pleased with myself so far. The first day she made me try an elipical machine and I almost died after 10 minutes. Since that first day I have been gradually working up. The other day I felt so good that I completed 46 minutes (3.5 miles) before I got off. I don't go very fast but I'm moving and my knees and feet don't hurt. I've been following up the elipitical with weight machines. I usually do 6 sets of 10 on five different machines. One stomach, one back, one leg , and two arm machines. It has been really difficult getting to the gym w/ working but I'm making myself do it. I am torn because I do not feel like my job is getting the attention it needs for me to be my best but I guess something has to give. Lacy keeps telling me that all the money, education, or any job in the world won't matter if you are not around to enjoy it. She is completely right. I'm slowly, quietly killing myself living with all this weight so I have to do something. She really is the best friend a girl could ask for. I'm very blessed to have her in my life.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

The Beginning

So I've been reading some really encouraging blogs lately and I'm going to give it a try for myself. I struggle with trying to control everything in my life instead of letting God lead my life. I want to start writing down my thoughts to keep me accountable and to help me learn to count the many blessings in my life. So here goes nothing...