Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Who I Am

So I guess I should explain myself a little bit...I am a 24 year old high school teacher who has now been happily married for 5 1/2 years to my high school sweetheart, Kevin. About two months after we married, Kevin was deployed with the United States Marine Corps to Iraq. He entered Iraq on the day the war started and returned home on July 3rd, 2003. It may seem that the last few sentences are all about my husband but it isn't really. Kevin's time in the Marines and the time he was in Iraq changed us significantly in many ways. Nothing will make you grow up more quickly than experiencing a time of great stress. I am an overachiever in every meaning of the word. I was Valedictorian of my Senior class and graduated from college Magna Cum Laude in 3 1/2 years. It is always all or nothing when it comes to me. I will worry/study myself into the ground if I am trying to achieve some kind of goal I set for myself. Nothing else matters at that time besides my goal. Usually it is a goal that I believe others want me to achieve. I'm morbidly obese and have started having some health issues related to my weight. I'm starting this blog to see if talking about the trials I face on a day to day basis will help. I'm struggling to become a healthier person physically, emotionally, and in my daily walk with God. I was saved when I was in the 6th grade. I had a steadfast and unshakable faith (faith of a child they say) until my Sophomore year in high school. My Gran-Gran (Dad's Mom) and Grandma (Mom's Mom) both passed away unexpectedly within 2 weeks of each other during the Fall of 1999. I was angry at them for leaving me and angry at God for doing something like that to me. I've become more and more lax in my efforts to follow God's will as time has gone on. The same with my weight. A struggle that you will hear me talk about from time to time is my need to control my surroundings. I never have "Let go and let God" have his will in my life. This struggle, like my weight struggles, are problems that I am very aware of but have failed miserably to deal with time after time after time. I am making some changes in my life that I will post about next time. Until then please pray for peace, understanding, and faith so that I may let God lead me on the path he wishes me to go.