Friday, October 10, 2008

To say things have been crazy would be a HUGE understatement...

Hello again...yeah yeah I know it is has been forever! I only thought my last absence was a long one...almost 2 months this time! Like my title says things have been pretty crazy around here. School got rolling right away and has kept me pretty busy. I love working with the little ones although I definately know that I have a sensitive gag reflex when it comes to little noses with boogies. lol I've subbed for San Angelo and Eden several times. I really enjoyed getting to see everyone in Eden and the SAISD jobs were fun. I have been in a kindergarten class and at the high school so far in San Angelo.

The weeks building up to Lacy's wedding were CRAZY! The weddding turned out beautifully and we had so much fun! I'll try to take the time to figure out to post pictures again. I've forgotten during my absence. I was so stressed out. It hasn't really helped speed up my weight loss but I am still losing. At my last weigh in I had lost a total of 33 pounds. I've had ups and downs but things are getting better now. I hadn't been able to get to the gym for a while especially since I've been sick. I've caught every disease that those little hands bring into my computer lab. All during this time we had Dustin and Amanda living with us. I was worried about how I would do since I've never had roommates but I really impressed myself. We didn't have the "no one did the dishes problems" and such but it definately was a stressful time for other reasons.

Let me explain this a little better. In January, Kevin's older brother Dustin called. He lived in Georgia and I've seen him about 4 times since Kevin and I got married 6 years ago. Dustin said that he wanted to move back to Texas and wanted him and his girlfriend to stay with us for awhile when he got here. He said in return for staying free of all costs he would install tile floors and tile shower surrounds in our house. We of course would have to purchase all of the tile and supplies but he would put the tile in place. I was adamant, "No way... No How... Not Ever..." Dustin had offered to install tile in our first house for us and while he was in the middle of the project (with the fridge in the living room and the only toilet and shower inoperable) he disappeared for a couple of days. He didn't tell us anything about where he went. It was terrible. We had to go take showers at my friends house and use the bathroom at the Town & Country behind our house. Dustin does really good tile work but every time we counted on him to get something done...he doesn't. He kept calling and calling asking Kevin to "think it over" and that he would take the entire 1st week he was here and only work on our house and get it done. I said "No, we don't have the money to buy the tile and he won't get it done." After about a month Kevin finally talked me into it. He really wanted to help his brother because he hadn't seen him except a handful of times since Dustin graduated HS. Kevin said we could finance the tile interest free and that Dustin promised to get ours completely finished first. I reluctantly agreed saying that I had two conditions...He finish ours completely first and that the project was finished and they were moved out before school let out for the summer because I had lots of projects I wanted to do during the summer.

In February the tile went on sale and we purchased it interest free for one year from lowes. It was really stretching our already tight budget because I was spending so much on gas driving back and forth but Kevin said it was worth it. The tile cost about $3000 dollars and in March Kevin ripped up our carpet to show me how bad the carpet was and that the tile would make it look a ton better. Dustin was supposed to be here on April 1st. Well of course April rolls Dustin. His court dealing weren't being resolved like they were supposed to so he couldn't leave. To make a really long story a little shorter...we lived on concrete floors until the middle of August. 5 1/2 months! During this time period Dustin called saying that if we could pay him something for doing the floors then he wouldn't need to stay with us when he got here. We did NOT have the cash but I thought it would be better in the long run if they just got their own place... so Kevin and I finally agreed to pay his first months rent at the apartment they had chosen. So a month later Dustin calls saying that if we could just send him the money now he could pay his fines and be able to leave so Kevin sends him $600 and put $100 hold deposit down on his apartment in San Angelo. He still didn't get to leave but finally he just decides to come down anyway and go back for his last court date. When they get here we're told that they don't have the money to get into an apartment and now they are going to have to stay with us again. Isn't that nice after we originally agreed on the money so they wouldn't stay with us? Sorry I need to quit sounding so bitter. It was just so frustrating!

Dustin and Amanda were fine roommates. I had a lot of fun with Amanda really enjoyed getting to know her. I had a little bit of a hard time talking to Dustin because I'm very straightforward most of the time and Kevin had me scared that he would just blow up on anything I say (which in the end Kevin was right). I got really frustrated because Dustin didn't respect anything Kevin said. If Kevin said No to something Dustin would just keep on and keep on until Kevin gave in. He even told me that he knew Kevin would never tell him no to anything because he was his older brother! If he knew that...then he should respected Kevin's word the first time. Needless to say six weeks later our house still wasn't finished. We didn't expect Dustin to work on the house after work but when he said he would work on it on the weekends we thought that was reasonable. Several weekends went by when he would say that and we would change our plans so Kevin could be around to help but then Dustin would disappear off to band practice or wherever for almost 12 hours sometimes and not a thing would get done! We went through several weekends like that and then it finally reached a boiling point when Dustin didn't have work for a week and it still didn't get finished. Kevin and I decided to remind Dustin that he said he would be out by October 1st and he needed to make sure he had all his apartment things in order. It had really gotten to the point where we didn't believe anything he said because he never followed through with anything. We decided to remind him so he could get the credit check and all the paper work in order. Kevin called his mom to ask how we should do it because he thought she might have a good suggestion on how to avoid him getting mad. She suggested she tell him that they would come down and help him move into his apartment because it was right around his 30th birthday...but that wasn't any good either. He still blew up about it. He came home that night yelling and cussing. He asked "what the "F***" I wanted from him" and I told him that "I wanted him to just follow through with things he says he is going to do." He went completely ballistic! I told Kevin that Dustin wasn't going to be able to talk about this...that he was just going to keep making excuses and I was just going to go to bed." He stood up and started screaming some more and I finally lost it. I told him that we had tried to talk to him but he wouldn't stop talking long enough to listen to what we had to say and that when Kevin did tell him what he wanted that he didn't respect it. I said I was tired of watching his family especially my husband walk on eggshells around him constantly because no one knew when he would blow up next and that he needed to leave that night. I guess I can handle people yelling at me all day long but when he started to yell at Kevin I lost it. I'm not going to let someone talk to Kevin that way and treat us like that. We practically broke our backs driving them around town, making sure there is food in the house, and being good hosts and have spent all of our savings on this stupid project and he still acted that way! We did everything we can to make it a good situation and it still turned out wrong.

Whew...I kinda feel better now that I've had a place to We ended up with about 2/3 our house that still needed grout, no shower wall work, and a closet and our bathroom with no tile. We asked Lacy's new husband Dusty :) if he would come grout the remaining floor and said that Kevin would help him. We intended to pay him but he wouldn't let us! He was there the next day and got all the grouting done! We have amazing friends! I don't have intention of being around Dustin again. His family may have just let him act that way his whole life but I'm not going to. I don't have to and I won't. It really hurts me to see Kevin and his parents hurt this way. Please, please pray for Kevin and I right now. I want to find a way to make Kevin and his family happy but I'm also not going to let Kevin be treated that way. I want to forgive him for Kevin's sake but I also know that people have to act like grown ups. Kevin and I's relationship has improved dramatically since Dustin left. We're still having money trouble in terms of cash flow. I look at our budget and we really should be doing fine even with the unexpected brand new AC sytem and new furniture but it seems that we don't have the cash at the time that we need it. We are making efforts to eat at home more and use our credit card less. We were not able to pay off our credit card bill last month for the first time since we were married almost 6 years ago. We had a bad couple of months between Lacy's wedding and the tile supplies costs. Pray for wisdom for Kevin and I to get through this tough time and that God will place on my heart what he wants from me. "Dear Lord, I cannot lead myself through this life on the right path. Please show me what you want from me. Not my will but thy will be done. Amen."