Sunday, May 9, 2010

What to do with today...

Mother's day has definitely been an off day for me in recent years...as much as I was thrilled to spend to the day doting on my amazing mother it was also a glaring reminder of the fact that I was broken, unable, or unworthy.  This year though...it's a little different...and while I know many people will say that I'm not an actual mother yet... in one way...I kind of am.  It still doesn't "feel" real but of course I know it is.  I mean I read the updates about the baby's development and am in complete awe at the little person growing inside me.  A true little person that is a little bit of me and a little bit of Kevin.  I know the first time I feel the baby will be amazing and it will start to "feel" real but until then every morning when I wake up I will continue to ask myself..."Was I dreaming?  Am I really going to be a mom?"

It isn't like we celebrated today or anything.  I didn't receive any presents but I was told "Happy Mother's Day" a few times and the few times I heard it...it made my heart skip a beat!   Justin (my brother) and I cooked lunch for mom and had a wonderful time visiting with her, dad, Kevin, and Alicia.  I made the main course and Justin made the brownies.  My parents had to rush back home though because they have a lot of stuff going on at their house right now.  (That is more exciting news that I will be sharing very shortly but not quite yet!)  So...what to do with today...I don't know about you...but as for me...I will give thanks to my amazing Lord for the thrilling and terrifying responsibility he has placed in my life and ask repeatedly that he protect this baby and help me do everything I can to be the best mom-to-be possible...

Oh and I didn't forget...  Happy Mother's Day, Momma!  I am extremely grateful for having such an amazing mother and this year I realize even more how lucky I am to have such a great teacher as you.   Maybe...just maybe...if I can manage to remember even a 1/4 of the great things that you did...I'll be able to be a good mom myself.  I love you!

1 comments:

Linz said...

You absolutely deserve to celebrate! Hope you had a wonderful day!